


Ambrosia

by General_Kyla



Series: Hateful Escapades [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bath Sex, Bisexual James Potter, Dom James Potter, Dom Severus Snape, Drama, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Hate Sex, Marauders, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Public Humiliation, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Violence, Sub Severus Snape, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-06-21 21:58:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15567201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/General_Kyla/pseuds/General_Kyla
Summary: Severus‘ and James‘ relationship is horribly messed up, but a mixture of blood and lust tastes so well brewed together that they don’t realize how poisonous the ingedrients are until served to their beloved Lily.They‘re more than a love triangle - this is one hell of a love circle.





	1. The Love Potion

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part of Hateful Escapades, so I‘d recommend you to read the first one if you haven‘t already ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> Warning! This story contains sexual violence. Read the tags.

Chapter 1 : The Love Potion

The first snowflakes of December started to fall from the cloudy sky and silently covered the Hogwarts castle under a thick, white blanket. As the christmas holidays drew nearer, the students received less and less homework from their professors - leaving them with a little too much free time.

A rumor about a new couple was spreading quickly amongst the students, anything concerning love or drama were discussed wildly whenever even the slightest spark of an interesting story emerged. It didn‘t take long for the rumor to arrive inside the Slytherin common room as two sniggering 3rd year girls walked shoulder-to-shoulder past the flickering fireplace.

"I can‘t believe it! You‘re making things up," one of the girls exclaimed and looked rather distressed.

"I‘m serious! Filch caught them snogging in the broomcloset on the third floor!" the other whispered hastily and looked around to see if anyone was listening. 

Severus Snape, a quiet but passionate 6th year student, looked up from his 'Advanced Potions' book and glared at them both through the long strands of hair that hung over his tired face; he sat on one of the large leather couches in front of the fireplace.

"No need to look to so worrisome, I have no interest in your childish gossip," he assured them with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Both girls looked at each other and nodded as they came to the silent agreement to continue their gossiping in the girl‘s dormitory. 

Severus rolled his eyes as they left the common room, he was alone once again - it was the perfect opportunity to start the revenge he had so carefully planned out in the past few months. 

He already knew about who everyone was talking about since yesterday - Lily and is life-time enemy Potter had been spotted kissing each other last night. Snape‘s lips curled into an ugly grin when his imagination presented him with colorful images of the girl he loved and the boy he loathed passionately making out - Sharing a bond. A bond, Severus knew it for a fact, he would never have. 

James Potter had everything Severus could only dream of; a family who dearly loved their son, an astounding Quidditch career, popularity and now A girlfriend. This, however, was something that would soon be taken away from him by no other than Snape himself. 

Severus leaned down to pull out the ingredients he had hidden under the couch earlier; he had successfully convinced Professor Slughorn to let him borrow everything he needed for a powerful Love Potion that would last at least two full days after it‘s consumption. The target was already set, he would simply pretend to help Lily during potions class and mix his love potion with the Antidote they‘d be preparing next lesson, a few drops would be enough. He carefully placed a cauldron filled with water next to the ingredients splattered across the table.

The boy heated up the cauldron with a flick of his wand and waited for the water to boil; the bubbles began to rise in the water similar to the way his anger had risen when he recalled the events of last summer. His heart ached and when he closed his eyes he could feel Potter‘s filthy hands all over his body again. No matter how hard he fought his memories, it was useless; he had to accept that he could never forget the fateful morning James Potter had tricked and abused him. Snape shuddered and his eyelids flew open when he heard the hot water spill out of the cauldron.

Another swing with his wand and the water was at his desired level once more. And from here he added the ingredients one by one. 

Snape silently watched as the water slowly turned into a violent shade of pink. "Finally," he said before he stood up and fetched an empty bottle to pour the freshly brewed potion into. With a satisfied look of glee on his face he carried the bottle over to his bed in the 6th year dormitory that he shared with three other Slytherin boys.

Once Severus had stuffed it inside his shabby looking school bag he heard the door behind him open; his body tensed up until he turned around to see a familiar face lit up by the candles. 

"Severus? Are you in here?" a soft voice called and Snape raised his hand to get the boy‘s attention.

"Over here, Regulus," Sev replied calmly as the pleasant feeling of relief flew through him.

Regulus Black was one of the members of a small circle of students who secretly practiced the Dark Arts. Severus suspected that the raven-haired boy had grown to fear the Dark Arts and would rather be anywhere than at their meetings, but he kept his mouth shut around the other members so Severus saw no reason to get involved.

"Did you hear about-," Regulus began hesitantly and walked over to the bed Snape was sitting on. 

"I‘ve heard everything I needed to, and possibly more than that about Lily and James Potter."

Regulus looked a little bewildered at Snape‘s reply and sat down next to him, careful not to disturb his personal space. He knew about Sev‘s feelings for Lily and their history, but it wasn‘t anything special since almost the entire school was aware of his 'secret', all thanks to the awful Marauders.

"Do you think he‘s only doing it to take a piss on you?" Regulus asked after a few moments of silence.

Severus considered Reg‘s words, he trusted the Black heir only to a certain extent and definitely not far enough to reveal the secret between him and James to Regulus. "I believe him to be horribly immature and cruel, but not even he would pretend to love someone only to upset me."

Regulus nodded, but didn’t seem convinced by Severus‘ words, not that Snape himself believed it.

"Well, it‘s getting late," Regulus commented impatiently and looked at the watch on his wrists, usually he would have looked outside the windows to check the time since he forgot his watch constantly, but they were both sitting in their dorm located in the dungeons. "Good night, Sev."

"Night," grumbled Severus, knowing full well that Regulus most likely hadn‘t heard him as he strode off to his bed, which stood on the other side of the room.

Soon the other two Slytherins snuck into the dorm and were thoughtful enough to close the door silently once they had spotted a sleeping Regulus and Severus with his nose buried in his books. Snape didn‘t pay them much attention, his mind was racing with ideas about how exactly tommorow would play out for him and even though there were a good amount of things that could go wrong; Severus was still convinced that everything would go according to plan.

After long hours of reading a book about Dark Arts that he had snatched from the restriced part of the library, he slowly started to doze off as the distant snoring of Regulus soothed him into a long and deep sleep.


	2. A Dark Awakening

Chapter 2: A Dark Awakening

Severus opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by pitch-black darkness. He tried to move until he felt the cold and sharp steel shackles, which chained him to a stone wall, cut deep into his skin. His skin prickled with horror; he knew the warm fluid running down his wrists could only be his own, fresh blood.

He heard a sound across the roon, panic rose inside his mind and caused his heart to pound so loudly that he barely heard the heavy metal door open. The light of a candle reached his dark eyes and he quickly looked up to glare at the person who had done this to him.

Standing in the doorway, with a disgustingly pleased smile on his face, was no other than James Potter.

"How‘s Azkaban treating you, Snivellus?" the young man roared with laughter and moved closer to hold up the flickering candle flame to Severus‘ unpleasant face.

"Don‘t be ridiculous! For what, pray tell, do you believe I would‘ve been put into Azkaban?" the burning pain didn‘t help Snape very much in holding back his temper. 

"You don‘t remember?" taunted James in a mocking tone. He tilted the candle, Snape closely watched the flame with caution. "You‘ve been sentenced to be imprisoned for 12 years-," Potter broke off his own sentence.

"For WHAT?!" Severus spat into Jame‘s face.

His enemy‘s grin grew wider after he lazily wiped Snape‘s spit off his cheek. They both watched the hot wax drip down from the candle and land on Snape‘s bare skin. A scream erupted from Severus‘ mouth and he could no longer control his emotions. 

It was something he had always been afraid of in the depths of his mind. His furious outbreaks painfully reminded him of the way his own father had insulted and scolded his mother. He swore to himself that he would never grow up to become the despicable, loud drunkhead who raised him.

His thoughts vanished and James continued to burn the skin on his chest with hot candle wax, he restrained himself from screaming again. He preferred to silently bite his dry bottom lip until his mouth was filled with a metallic taste.

"You, Severus Snape," said James darkly and was pleased to see the chained boy flinch at hearing him say his full name for the first time since they‘d met. 

The anticipation was so heavy in the air that Snape was certain he could‘ve hold onto it, if his limbs hadn‘t been restrained by heavy steel. 

"You have been accused of raping Lily Evans in your 6th year at Hogwarts," James spoke matter-of-factly like he was reading it from the Daily Prophet.

His words left Severus in a state of shock and horror, his skin was now covered in blood, wax and goosebumps all at the same time - for a brief moment he considered holding his breath until he‘d be unconscious, but he would not give James the pleasure of defeating him. It was a nasty lie; he knew he‘d never hurt his precious Lily. She meant more to him than his own well-being.

"Ridiculous," he hissed. "Simply ridiculous. I would never harm Lily!"

James only chuckled as a reply and his eyes wandered back and forth between Snape and the door behind him. 

"Oh really? Well, why don‘t I show you what you did to her? This might help you remember," announced Potter, he snapped his fingers and within the blink of an eye the room was illuminated by a light so bright that it stung in Snape‘s eyes.

The candle fell to the stony floor with a 'Clank' and to Snape‘s surprise the shackles on his limbs no longer restrained him, he was determined to strangle the boy who had dared to accuse him, but his body was too weak to stand up. He simply fell forward with a groan, head laying right next to the extinguished candle.

"Isn‘t this something you would call ... Revenge?," James had lowered himself to the ground and leaned over Snape‘s trembling body to growl the last word into his ear. 

Revenge, Severus managed to focus his thoughts for a few seconds, wasn‘t this what he had planned for James? How did Potter knew about this? Why was he sent to Azkaban for something he‘d never do?

Before he could provide himself with plausible answers, he felt something press uncomfortably against his rear. Even in his clouded state of mind he could tell that it was James‘ hardened erection rub on his skin.

"What‘s wrong, Sniv? Too scared to talk? I bet she was too when you touched her."

His words were like daggers digging into Sev‘s neck. He braced himself for what was about to come, it couldn’t be worse than the pain he already felt all over him. Oh, how terribly wrong he was. James didn’t wait for an answer; Snape heard him unzip his pants and couldn’t stop himself from wincing at the feeling of Potter‘s cock throbbing against his arsehole.

"Come on, beg! Beg me to stop!" James roared and slapped the back of Snape‘s head as hard as he could. The boy‘s face hit the ground once again and blood started to drip out of his nose, mixing with the fluid already coming out of his bruised lips.

"How boring, you could at least pretend that you have feelings, a soul, something that makes you human, Snivellus. But we all know you‘re not a human, so I don‘t feel quite as bad about this-," Potter blabbered on as if he was engaged in an idle chat with a friend.

"Shut ... up," Severus croaked, he instantly regretted opening his mouth once Jame‘s hand wrapped around his throat and strangled him roughly.

Potter used his free hand to force his fingers into Severus tight arsehole and stretch it violently. He spit into his hand in a laughable attempt to replace a lubrification spell, although Snape knew very well his intent was to hurt, not pleasure him, he was upset about it.

"That‘s enough, I‘m surprised that your shithole isn‘t nearly as dirty as your hair, do you wash it more than once a month?"

Severus turned his head to the side and closed his eyes, he imagined himself to be anywhere else but here - even his old bedroom at home suddenly seemed more welcoming than sharing a filthy, cold cell with Potter in Azkaban. The enormous cock forcing it‘s way into Snape‘s body slammed him right back into reality. He moved his back to ease the pain, but to his unpleasant surprise, he only encouraged Potter to go harder on him.

"And now you‘re eager for it, aren‘t you? Bloody hell, you‘re tighter than a bird‘s cunt," James had trouble catching his breath as he thrusted his full size into the slim, shivering boy beneath him. 

James had caused yet another part of Snape to ooze with blood and Sev couldn’t believe he still hadn’t passed out. How much pain and suffering did he have to endure before this was over? Would he ever get out of here? This was Azkaban after all, wasn‘t it? No one would come for his rescue, no one would risk his life to save a rapist. Stop falling for his tricks, Snape reminded himself.

Once Potter had adjusted his cock, he slammed right into Snape‘s arsehole in a brutal and uncaring pace. His hands tightened around Sev‘s throat, a little more pressure and Snape was sure he would break his neck - he sincerely hoped his enemy would loose all control and murder him.

The animalistic moans above him sent a sickening shiver down his spine and his stomach clenched painfully. He believed that the flilthy Potter was enjoying every second of this disgraceful act. Soon James had managed to pound so deep into Sev that he had found his prostate - Snape was horrified when he realized that the deep growls didn‘t come from James this time. It was his own voice, the git had succeeded in forcing his body to react to him.

 

"Should’ve brought a Love ... potion," Potter moaned.

Snape‘s eyes were so full of tears that he could no longer see anything in the brightly lit room, he couldn’t make out the expression on Potter‘s face and if he was honest with himself - he didn‘t want to know how wide he was grinning down at him. The blood glued his greasy hair to his pale cheeks and Severus felt too disgusted to breath or allow his heart to keep pounding violently in his chest, he didn’t want to be alive any longer.

After another painful thrust inside his arse, it finally dawned on him. A glimpse of his memories flashed before his inner eye and he watched himself pour the Love potion he had brewed into Lily‘s antidote during class. James was right all along, he had used the potion to lure Lily into bedding him. She must‘ve freaked out after the effects of the potion had worn off and immediately called for help. Snape remembered being chained up and dragged into a cell, students screaming wild accusations and insults at him, he saw the disappointment and hate shimmer in Lily‘s eyes as she watched the Ministry of Magic taking care of the boy who had hurt her like no one else ever had.

"I‘M SORRY!" Severus shouted. "I NEVER MEANT TO HURT LILY! I WANTED TO HURT YOU, POTTER!"

~*~

"Severus!" a voice shrieked above him. 

The boy opened his eyes, he could no longer feel blood painting his skin; a hand reached out to shake his body and Snape‘s body rose up quickly to slap it away. Severus found himself glaring into the eyes of his shivering friend, who looked rather scared at seeing Snape covered in sweat and ... the boy looked down at himself to find a wet spot on his matress. 

"Severus, I thought somebody was trying to kill you," he panted. 

It took a few moments before Snape fully realized the torture he had just gone through had only been a dream, yet his body was screaming in pain like it had been nothing but real. A quick glance around the room told him that he had woken up the remaining two Slytherin boys, they both sat in their beds and stared at him in silent shock.

"It was nothing more than a nightmare," he assured Regulus with all the confidence left in him and turned his head to check the clock. "You should go back to sleep, I‘ll go use the bathroom."

"Alright, if you need anything, don‘t hesitate to wake me up," Regulus replied and his worried expression didn’t fade in the slightest, but he knew there was no use in questioning Severus any further. He went back to his four-poster and watched Snape leave the common room.

Severus sneaked out of the dormitory with the love potion tightly clutched in his right hand, he had to be careful to hold back his temper or else he might‘ve shattered it right then and there. The dream had been an urgent reminder of his conscience that his plan to take Lily‘s precious virginity to get his revenge on Potter was not only pathetic, but also utterly depraved. He would not let himself fall down to Potter‘s level of treating other people. 

Snape emptied the bottle over the toilet in the boy‘s bathroom and as the images of James forcing him to swallow his nasty cock resurfaced in his mind, he leaned over the toilet seat and vomited until his body felt entirely empty. 

He dearly wished for James to simply drop dead tommorow in potions class, he didn’t think he could look into those eyes again without throwing up in front of the class. 

He needed a new plan, Snape thought as he wiped the vomit off his mouth and splashed his mouth with some cold water from the sink. He gazed into the mirrored image of his own face, he saw a tired, grumpy-looking and frustrated young man. It was impossible that Lily would fall for a git like him when she could go out with everybody’s favorite troublemaker James Potter.

It was like waking up from his previous nightmare only to be thrown into the next. He had to break the cycle - without harming Lily.


	3. Breakfast Time

Chapter 3 : Breakfast Time

James Potter woke up from a dreamless sleep. He sat up in his bed and smiled when he caught Sirius and Remus fully dressed and smirking at him. He stretched his arms out and groaned, he was positively sure he had overslept again.

"Moony thought we should check if you‘re dead," Sirius chuckled and pointed at Remus who shot him a very disapproving glance.

"I was only worried because we heard you scream in your sleep last night."

James leaned over his bedside table to search for his glassed and stared back and forth between his friends after he had managed to put them on.

"A bit early for jokes, eh? I don‘t remember dreaming anything tonight," said James and rubbed his temples. "You two should‘ve woken me up earlier ... Where‘s Wormtail?"

Sirius and Remus turned to look at each other and silently agreed that they wouldn’t press the matter on any longer.

"Oh, he‘s already down in the Great Hall eating breakfast, he wanted to bring you something to eat in bed, but now that you‘re awake and-," Remus was cut off by Sirius.

"And alive," Sirius added with an overly dramatic tone and pose.

James couldn’t help but laugh, no matter how dark his dreams might‘ve been that he didn’t even remember any of it, his friends never failed to make even an early morning something to look forward to.

"What I was trying to say-," Remus squinted his eyes at Sirius, who was trying his hardest to stop grinning. "Is that you can go have breakfast with all of us now, do hurry up though, it‘s already past eight."

James jumped out of his red and yellow colored bed sheets and stumbled forward to his closet, he put on his winter uniform while he listened to Padfoot and Moony argue about something he couldn’t quite make out, they were making an unusually big effort to whisper as quietly as possible.

"Is it still about that scream you two heard? Who knows, maybe Dumbledore walked in on McGonagall getting undressed in her room," James joked and quickly gave up on fixing his tie. 

The three friends laughed together and swung their bags over their shoulders before they hurried from the Gryffindor tower all the way down to the Great Hall. The Gryffindor table was already full with students who chatted eagerly and James saw a few first year students wave at their friends from different houses. He assumed they weren‘t aware of the constant rivalry between the houses yet, because he swore he caught a young girl smile warmly at a passing Slytherin boy.

James despised the Slytherin house, it was known to have produced more dark wizards than any other house and it was mystery to him why the headmaster hadn‘t banned the house yet. The Gryffindor Quidditch team wouldn’t play against the Slytherin team until Christmas was over, but as the Seeker of the team James couldn’t wait to defeat those slimy snakes and wipe the sneers off their ugly faces.

He spotted one particularly ugly face right after he had sat down next to Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail at the Gryffindor table. Snape, whom he only referred to as Snivellus, dared to stare at him from the Slytherin table. His dark eyes bore right through him and left James feeling a sudden outburst of anger again. 

"You alright?" asked Remus and bumped his arm against James. 

James nodded and decided to ignore the flame rising inside his chest. Something about the slimy git caused his blood to boil and make him want to crash his fists into a wall. 

"So-," Sirius coughed nervously as he put some bacon and eggs on his plate.

"Oh, yes, yes," Wormtail stuttered and his big, round cheeks reddened. "We ... wanted to know if the rumors are true. Did you and Lily ... snog in the broom closet?"

James‘ face blushed even redder than Peter‘s as he tried to play it cool in front of the Marauders. His friends all looked looked up at him, Remus had forgotten to chew and didn’t notice the bacon hanging out of his mouth.

"Well, yeah," admitted James. "I can tell you, she‘s a great kisser."

"It‘s a real shame Filch caught you, huh?" Sirius said and winked at him.

"I always knew you‘d be the first to find a girlfriend, Prongs," commented Remus. 

"She‘s not exactly my girlfriend yet, we just - uhm - kissed," James explained and saw the disappointment in Moony‘s eyes. 

"Ask her out before Padfoot gets any stupid ideas," Moony whispered with his hand covering his mouth.

"I heard that!," Padfoot jumped off the bench and pointed at Remus. "I never had a stupid idea."

James nearly choked on his scrambled eggs as he laughed, their laughter filled the entire Hall and reached even the Slytherin table on the other side.

~ * ~

Meanwhile Severus found himself more interested in a book rather than breakfast, he barely ate anything and left the remains on the table. Not even he could overhear the laughter that shrieked through the Hall and caused his body to shake violently. 

He looked up from the page he was reading and saw Potter chuckle about some stupid joke, he could only guess it had been about himself or Lily. Before he could take his eyes off the boy, their eyes met for an uncomfortably long moment and Severus regretted that he had decided not to visit the nurse office after the events of the prevoius night. His stomach felt like it had just done a backflip and he hurried to put his book away; he needed to get out of here before Potter got any stupid ideas.

 

~ * ~

"Hey, did you see Snivellus? He looked like he was running for his life," Sirius said, eyes focused on James.

"I think he‘s mad because of Lily," James answered and the worry in his voice surprised him a little. 

"Well, it‘s his own fault for calling her a mudblood, right? I wouldn’t want to be with a racist guy either," said Padfoot.

James shrugged as he relived the memories of feeling Lily‘s soft lips on his face, her delicate fingers traveling teasingly across his chest and the moment she kneeled down to ... James shook his head, his imagination must‘ve played a trick on him. It wasn‘t Lily who had kneeled down for him against her will, it had been Snivellus. 

His friends noticed the dreamy look on his face and Wormtail poked his cheek, he snapped right back into reality. James‘ pants felt oddly tight around his crotch and he was afraid to know wether Snape or Lily were the reason for his embarrassing boner. 

"Alright, Marauders," James stood up and quickly turned his back to his friends, praying they wouldn’t see his cock press against the inside of his pants. "It‘s Potions first, right?"

They all sighed in union and Wormtail was close to sobbing over the remaining bacon on his plate. Nonetheless they followed Prongs into the dungeons.


	4. Sweet, Sweet Revenge

Chapter 4 : Sweet, Sweet Revenge

The Slytherin and Gryffindor students waited together in front of the Potions classroom, the two houses stood huddled together in two different groups, eyeing each other suspiciously and usually it was only a matter of time until they broke out into a fight.

Severus silently listened to his fellow Slytherins chat about some petty drama he couldn’t bother to care about. All their trouble was so pathetic, if they were forced to live a day in his skin, they surely wouldn’t be worried about Quidditch matches anymore.

The boy kept glancing over to the Gryffindors, hoping to see Lily stand amongst the girls, but she was nowhere to be seen. It wasn‘t uncommon for her to be between 5 and 7 minutes late, Snape usually counted the seconds until she arrived.

The classroom door opened and Professor Slughorn greeted them all with a bright smile. "Come in, come in everyone! We got a lot to do!," he cheerily announced and ignored the disapproving grunts from the Gryffindor students. 

Severus sat down in the first row, right in front of the teacher‘s table. It guaranteed him that no one would consider sitting next to him, not that anyone had ever done so willingly aside from Lily a few years ago.

Lily had just entered the room, Severus noticed that she had made an extra effort to braid her wavy, red hair today. She looked stunning as always, it was a shame she decided to sit down in the last row, right next to Potter, who smirked.

The class eventually calmed down once Slughorn had shut the door. "You‘ll be working in pairs today," the Professor said and some students smiled at their friends. "Your task is to brew an antidote, everyone who did their homework shouldn’t find it too difficult, but to those who forgot about it-," he shot a nasty look at the Marauders. "I hope you‘re good at improvising."

Before the students could run off to change places and pair up, Slughorn raised his finger and coughed. "I will be pairing you up."

Both Slytherin and Gryffindor students rolled their eyes and slumped back into their chairs, Slughorn was known for trying to force the two houses to work in class, although the results were usually abysmal. 

"Sirius and ...," Slughorn began pairing each Gryffindor with a Slytherin and soon Severus noticed he was the last one to be called out by the Potions master. "Severus and ... James!"

Severus right eye flickered nervously and he suddenly regretted that he hadn’t brewed a powerful poison last night. It would’ve been a much better plan than the Love Potion. 

Snape saw James rise reluctantly from his seat, he looked sadly at Lily and told her something that Sev couldn’t hear. As Potter sat down next to him, he immediately felt their thighs touch and he slowly inched away. 

"That‘s right, Sniv, don‘t touch me," Potter hissed. 

Severus replied with a silent sneer, he had just the right idea how he could finally get his revenge on the Potter boy. Without Slughorn‘s instructions, his enemy would have no clue what exactly Severus was making him brew up and drink.

"Let‘s start, shall we?" Slughorn adressed the class before he sat down on his desk and began to mark some essays. 

"What are you waiting for? You heard him," Potter said, clearly annoyed to have been paired up with Severus. He leaned back in his chair and let his eyes wander over the classroom, Snape was certain he was thinking about Lily.

~ * ~ 

James wished he could be somewhere else, he thought about strolling through the Forbidden forest with the rest of the Marauders, but his mind refused to ignore the strong smell from Snivellus. He watched him heat up the water inside the cauldron and suddenly realized where the smell came from, Sniv‘s hair smelled like strawberry cheese cake shampoo, the kind only girls used. 

He hated to admit it, but it smelled quite pleasant and he felt the urge to play with it, to see if it still felt like silk. He had given up on trying to forget the things he had to Sniv last summer, he couldn’t turn back time and he was lucky enough that the slimy snake hadn‘t told the headmaster about it.

Snivellus added some odd looking fungi and the potion turned ocean blue, James hadn’t paid enough attention in Potions to know wether or not he was messing something up. But the Slytherin always buried his big nose in books, so he would have to know, right?

His nose, James thought and enjoyed staring at Snape‘s concentrated face quite a bit. He didn’t get the chance to be so close to him all that often - not he had wanted to, of course! He wanted Lily, yes, she was a beautiful girl; Snape was a creepy little bloke who happened to be somewhat attractive in his own, odd way.

~ * ~ 

Misty grey smoke covered Severus‘ face as he leaned over the cauldron. Professor Slughorn approached them from behind and squinted his eyes at the boiling potion. For one moment Sev was afraid he might have spotted that something was off about it, but to his relief he simply nodded in approval and went on to check the antidote Sirius Black and some Slytherin student had made.

"Now, one student in each pair must try out the antidote, if nothing happens, well you‘re in luck," Slughorn explained. "Because that means you brewed it just right, however, should you start vomiting slugs or feel your nose grow to the size of a bolder ... Please call for my help."

Severus‘ lips curved up into a thin smile as he saw that Potter was hesitating to drink his potion. I can smell your fear, he thought, and you have every right to be afraid.

~ * ~

James did not like the smile on Snape‘s face at all, what if he had poisoned it? But that couldn’t be true, Slughorn would‘ve smelled it and if he suddenly dropped dead, everyone would know who had killed him. It was a silly thought.

"Go on, drink it, or are you perhaps too scared, Potter?" Snivellus was taunting him.

"You wish," spat James and took a spoon, he filled it with the blue fluid and watched the dark mist swirl around it. He gulped it down in one go and waited for his body to collapse, but nothing bad happened. 

Everything seemed normal, Sniv sneered as he usually did after he thought he had defeated James, but James couldn’t see how this was a win. 

Until ... his pants started to feel tighter again, he glanced down at his crotch and noticed the bulge. James tried to hide it with his hands, if Snape caught him with an erection in class it would be truly be a new low for the proud Gryffindor. 

As if Snivellus hasn‘t already seen everything, a tiny voice inside his head was so kind to remind about the summer incident. 

~ * ~

Severus was incredibly pleased with the embarrassed look on Potter‘s ugly face, he deserved to know what it feels like to be ashamed. His poor attempts at hiding his throbbing cock forced Sev to restrain a low chuckle. 

The effects of the potion would eventually wear off, but not until classes were over for today - he would hardly be able to hide it during lunch break. 

Professor Slughorn was busy fixing the various side effects of the incorrect potions most of the pairs had made. He eventually reached Severus‘ and Potters table and tutted as he noticed Potter hiding his crotch.

"Ah, no need to be ashamed, it happens to the bravest of men," he laughed heartily and spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. "Go see Madam Pomfrey about it, will you? Severus? Follow him and make sure he doesn‘t run off."

Slughorn squeezed Sev‘s shoulder and the Slytherins broke out into shrilling laughter as they both stood up and walked towards the door. Severus wished he could have joined in, but he didn‘t want the Professor to think he had messed up the antidote on purpose.

Lily watched Potter with a look on her pretty face that Sev could only interpret as pure disgust.

Once they were outside in the hall, James angrily swung his arms around and pinned Severus against the wall. The Slytherin continued to smile, it was pure bliss for his tortured soul to see Potter freak out about something so minor.

"You. Little. Bastard." James pressed his forehead against Sev‘s and they could feel each other‘s hot breath on their face. 

Severus felt rather uncomfortable to have someone invade his personal bubble, but now was the perfect time to add the cherry on top of his pie of sweet revenge. 

"Admit it, Potter. You‘re gay," Severus whispered.

"Oh, really? Prove it, you ugly git!"

That was the signal Sev had been waiting for. Without a moment of hesitation he trapped Potter‘s trembling lips into a rough kiss, he sucked and bit down on the taller boy‘s bottom lip; it didn’t take long before the Gryffindor responded to his touches and kissed him back.

Severus licked Potter‘s bloody lip, silently asking for permission to claim his flithy mouth and force him to shut up for more than a minute. Potter‘s defence broke down incredibly fast, he gasped and Snape used the chance to clash his tongue against the one of his enemy - their tongue‘s glided over each other, fighting for dominance, Sev surely wasn‘t the most experienced kisser, but he had read enough books about it.

After a long, brutal tongue fight Severus broke the kiss. They both struggled to catch their breath, bodies still incredibly close to each other and Potter hadn’t moved his arms away from the wall so Sev could hardly escape.

~ * ~

His heart had sunken into his pants when Sniv‘s thin and dry lips took him by surprise, he didn’t mean to kiss back or respond to the slimy tongue inside his mouth but it felt so tempting, yet he knew how wrong it was.

"You ... you kissed me!" James shouted and quickly went quiet once he remembered that te class was still sitting behind the door. 

"And you kissed me back," Snivellus proudly stated and swung his long, black hair back. 

"I will wipe that nasty look off your face! But not here-," James looked at the door and then went right back to glaring maliciously at Sniv. "We‘ll do what Slughorn said, take me to the nurse office."

Snivellus grinned in a way that made James feel a lot less confident about his upcoming counter attack, did the little git already smell what was coming for him? He couldn’t be.

~ * ~

After a long, dreadful walk up to the nurse office, Severus knocked on the door and called for Madam Pomfrey. They waited about a minute, trying to hear if someone inside had spoken, another minute of silence passed and Sev decided to simply step in.

Potter grabbed Severus by the wrists and pinned him down on the nearest bed, he was panting heavily and clearly struggling to keep his hands from trembling as he reached out to stroke Severus neck. For a brief moment Snape was worried he‘d strangle him, but this wasn‘t the Potter from his dreams. 

"What about Lily?" Severus asked and watched James flinch.

"What about her? We both love her, don‘t we?," Potter asked and Snape felt like he could absorb every bit of his nervous voice.

"Yes, but she hasn‘t spoken to me in years, I doubt she‘d think any less of me if I slept with my enemy."

"Let‘s not talk about her, got it, Sniv?"

Interesting, Snape thought, Potter was scared to admit that he felt more drawn to a Slytherin boy he had pretended to hate for the past 6 years rather than a magnificent and straight-up angelic young woman. 

Severus nodded curtly and allowed James to roughly kiss his neck, he had to admit that it felt incredibly good to see the Potter spawn so worked up, soon his skin stung and he knew the boy would leave bruises if he kept biting into him like a hungry vampire.

"You don‘t want anyone to find out about our little escapade, do you?" he reminded Potter sharply and the boy immediately stopped. 

"Fine, I will just rip off your clothes then," James growled and used his hands instead of his wand to throw away Sev‘s cloak and sweater. His pants, shirt and tie followed within seconds, he seemed incredibly eager to see Snape‘s naked body again.

Severus felt a lot more confident about his body than last time, although he wasn‘t proud of his physical form, he knew Potter liked it enough that a low groan escaped his lips as he took the opportunity to suck on Snape‘s pink nipples.

"As much as I like the idea of you sucking on my nipples like the bratty child you are- I was hoping for something else," Snape said and gripped Potter‘s messy hair to yank his head away.

"You‘re just as impatient as last time, Sniv.". 

A few rough kisses and several lubrification spells later, Severus had managed to fight his way on top and pin James down instead. Potter raised his arse into the air and Snape climbed out of bed to grab his wand and let James‘ clothes vanish. Sev firmly grabbed Potter‘s ass and licked his lips.

Potter‘s dirty arsehole was pink and looked delightfully tight, it would be the first time for Sev to enter a man, but he doubted it could be that hard if magical creatures knew how to do it. James wiggled his ass around and earned himself a few harsh slaps from Severus. 

"Come on, you stupid git! We don‘t have all day," moaned Potter.

"Who‘s the impatient one now, hm?"

Severus chuckled and positioned his already stiff and impressively long cock at the boy‘s lubricated entrance, even after all the stretching spells, the hole looked almost too tiny for Sev to fit in, but with a deep breath he pushed his dick inside. Potter moaned loudly and Severus quickly leaned over his back to cover his mouth, he would not let anyone interrupt them. 

Snape fucked the last bit of pride and arrogance out of the Potter boy‘s mind, he slammed into him and his arsehole clenched painfully hard around his pulsing shaft. With every harsh thrust and every little moan it became harder for Severus to concentrate on his rapid hate-fucking. He felt the need to cum, to cover Potter with his seed and make him remember the time he had done it to Sev. It would serve the brat right.

"Come inside! Please!" Potter begged.

"S- Shut your lousy mouth, brat!" Severus hissed, he slapped Potter‘s right buttock and caused him to moan even louder. 

Snape‘s balls hit Potter‘s rear after every thrust and the sound made both of them flinch a litte. 

"Severus!," James shouted and coated the matress with cum after a violent twitch. 

Severus couldn’t believe his own ears, this was the very first time he had used his correct name, except for the James in his dreams, but he knew that one didn‘t count. Snape was determined to chase his orgasm, he pounded so hard and fast into the already exhausted Potter that the world around him became silent and grey. All his thoughts circled around Potter, his watery eyes, the way his balls hung between his muscular thighs, his wonderfully red and bruised ass ... it was too much for him to take. 

Severus forced his cock out of James‘ hole and covered his plump buttocks and back with his hot seed, the white fluid spread across his skin and marked Potter with his his scent. Snape expected the boy to throw insults at him but he simply laid still and panted.

"Bloody hell, I didn‘t think a bloke could be better than a bird, but-" James turned his head to look into Sev‘s dark eyes. "We should do that again."

Severus chuckled, one quick fuck and the boy was already attached. Snape couldn’t quite imagine them meeting up every so often to have their mating season with each other in Madam Pomfrey‘s nursery, surely she wouldn’t like to see two boys hate-fuck in her hospital beds. Snape was already done with putting on his uniform when he heard the Potter boy whine.

"I promise I will stop calling Snivellus if you agree," James offered and sounded awfully desperate.

Snape raised an eyebrow at him and curled his lips. Past experiences told him that every word that came out of Potter‘s mouth should be treated with extreme caution, this time however, he sounded genuine enough.

"Use that ridiculous nickname one more time and everyone in Hogwarts will suddenly realize that one of the popular Marauders is incredibly gay and submissive," Severus warned him coldly. 

James nodded and rolled off the bed to put on his clothes. "You should get back to class, I will wait here for Madam Pomfrey."

Snape looked down to see that Potter‘s cock was still hard and secretly praised himself for how good the Hardening Potion had worked this time. 

"Until later, Potter," Severus dressed himself and left with a pleased grin on his face. Now the boy was in his hands, Potter was his to control and manipulate and ... he was Snape‘s personal whore.

Oh, how wonderful and cruel life could be in the magical world. 

~ * ~

Severus left the hospital wing only seconds before Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail came storming in, they stood around James‘ bed and everyone was lost for words.

"Did you come here to stare at me?," James snapped at them, his body was well hidden under the white blanket, he did not need his best friends to find out he had been in here to fuck Sniv- Severus. 

"No, we - uh - wanted to bring you the homework Slughorn gave us," Moony stammered and pulled a few papers out of his bag.

"Listen, man," Sirius said in an unusually serious tone. "We know Snivellus put something in that potion, we told everyone that it was his fault."

"I doubt the Slytherins believed you, friend," Remus reminded him and sighed. 

"Lily didn‘t believe it either," Wormtail added, Moony and Padfoot frowned at him. 

James had never felt so guilty in front of his friends, usually they would mess things up together and break every school rule twice in the process, but this was different. James had done something so wrong that he couldn’t tell them about it, it left him with a sense of dread. 

"I don‘t care what they think," he knew that was a lie. "As long you guys stick with me."

Padfoot pretended to wipe a tear off his cheek and embraced Prongs in tight hug. "The day we stop fighting for you is the day we die," Sirius said. 

Moony and Wormtail nodded in agreement and James’ mood had slightly improved. He didn‘t know how to explain all of this to Lily, would she even want to hear his explanation or would she simply shun him like she did with Severus? 

Thanks to Snape‘s long lasting potion effect, Madam Pomfrey allowed him to spend the day in the Hospital wing without having to bear the howling laughter from the Slytherins, he wasn‘t afraid to beat them down, but he wasn‘t too keen on receiving any more detentions this week either.

He couldn’t take his mind off Snape; he relived the moment where the boy had dared to kiss him about a hundred times before he could feel himself dozing off.


	5. A Letter from Home

Chapter 5 : A Letter from Home

There was only one week of school left before most of the students would happily return to their homes for the winter holidays and celebrate Christmas with their families. All the common rooms and corridors were decorated with shining red candles and freshly cut Christmas trees. Everyone seemed to be in a festive mood, not even the teachers tried to ruin it by giving them any homework.

James nervously paced circles in the Owlery after his lessons were finished. It hadn‘t been easy to convince his friends to let him go here on his own, but as soon as he had mentioned that he‘d be meeting up with Lily Evans, they all shut up. The air was chilly inside the tower. The owls did their best to cuddle up to one another, looking down at James with their big, yellow eyes.

He checked his watch. Damn it, she was already late, he noticed and considered to simply run off while he still had the chance to flee. Lily had asked him to talk about something important; James knew girls and he knew this was their way of announcing that a great disaster was about to hit him. 

It wasn‘t a too far-fetched idea that she might’ve wanted to discuss the embarrassing incident from Potions class last week, she hadn’t spoken to him since and this alone prevented James from feeling excited about Christmas. It would be no happy holiday without hearing her laugh one more time.

He turned around as he heard someone climb up the ladder and open the trapdoor which led to the Owlery. A messy bun of red hair emerged from the hole, followed by a stern-looking, freckled face and juicy lips that were pressed into a thin line. 

"Ah, you‘re already here," said Lily and looked over Jame‘s head to watch the owls peck each other affectionately.

"A little late, as usual, Evans, aren‘t we? I was freezing my balls- I mean bones off in here," James pretended to be shivering a let out a very forced laugh. "I‘m sorry."

Lily approached him and grabbed both of his arms by his wrists with her delicate fingers, her nails dug into his skin and her green eyes were now directly staring up into his face. 

"Promise me that you will stop going after Sev, he doesn’t deserve all the hate you‘re throwing at him," said Lily.

"Excuse me?" James couldn’t believe what she said. "Why are you defending the git who called you a mudblood? You haven’t talked to him in years!"

Lily glanced downwards to avoid James‘ glare. "Because I feel like I should forgive him ... and because I can‘t have a bully as a boyfriend."

James forced himself not to laugh if only she knew it had been Severus who was eager to ruin his life now and not the other way around. There was no way she would be allowed to find out about their affair though, it would break her little heart and destroy James‘ chance to date the prettiest girl at Hogwarts. 

"Are you asking me out, Evans?" James asked with a cocky smile.

Lily rolled her eyes and squeezed his hands affectionately. "Maybe," she said and placed a hand on James‘ chest to prevent him from bowing down and kissing her. "If you promise to leave Sev alone."

Go ahead and say that to Snape, Potter thought. "I, James Potter, solemnly swear that I will never ever bother Snape again." He raised his fist to his chest and nodded firmly, thankfully Lily seemed to be convinced enough of his lie.

The girl stood on her toes to reach James‘ lips, she caught them in a clumsy but genuine kiss; a little too much spit and without the bite, he was used to from Severus. She was softer than him, exploring the sensitive skin of his neck with her juicy lips and fiddling with his tie, she moved so eagerly that James had trouble to control himself. 

"Careful, Evans, I‘m a real Hippogriff in bed."

Lily chuckled and buried her face in his Gryffindor cloak; her cheeks were flushing red and James couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or simply cold from the chilly air inside the Owlery. James stroked her head, it felt different than Severus‘. For Merlin‘s sake, admit it, you can‘t stop thinking about that bloke, a little voice in his head shouted.

"What are you thinking about?" Lily purred.

"You," he quickly replied and kissed her forehead.

Liar, the voice hissed and James felt like punching himself. For the first time in his life he dearly wished he had behaved himself; Severus had possessed his mind and it was too late to fix the damage. Not even the sparkle in Lily‘s eyes could save him now.

~ * ~

Severus sat alone in his dormitory, the memory of Potter‘s desperate face helped him write down his Charms essay with ease. He smiled to himself and put his books away. If offering his body was all he had to do to force the brat into submission and turn his mind into chaos, then he didn’t mind the bruises on his neck or the pain in his back that he felt after taking Potter in the hospital wing.

He hoped for his ambitions and patience to be rewarded with the love and admiration he was yearning after since he was born. His mother tried to show him that she cared, but every attempt of her‘s was promptly stopped and torn apart by his muggle father, who despised wizards with every cell of his body. It wasn‘t Potter‘s lousy lips he longed for, it was still and would always be Lily he desired. 

The comfortable silence was broken by the obnoxiously loud pecking on the door. Snape sighed and climbed off his bed; he was sick of having to take letters that weren’t even his, but since his roommates were always outside the owls came to bother him. 

He opened the door and the two owls came flying in, they both circled the room for a while until they settled down on a small table standing in the middle of the room. Severus reached out to yank the first letter of the owl‘s leg when he realized that he knew both of these feathery beasts. 

The big eagle owl belonged without a doubt to the Malfoy family, the letter was sealed with red wax with the Malfoy crest stamped into it. It narrowed its eyes as Severus carefully removed the letter from its outstretched leg, he wasn‘t going to let himself get bitten like last time.

The barn owl was a lot smaller and pecked Snape‘s nose when he bowed down to untie her letter as well. Severus couldn’t bring himself to pet her, no matter how loud she hooted and bobbed her head back and forth to get his attention. She smelled awful - awfully like home.

Snape brought both of them a mug filled with water to distract the owls for a while and sat down on his bed to read the letters. He opened the one from the Malfoy‘s first, no matter what it‘d be about, it couldn’t be as bad as the one from his mother‘s owl.

_Dear Severus,_

_My father and mother both agree that it‘d be a pleasure to invite you over for the Christmas holidays, and I can‘t disagree with their request._

_I‘d be delighted to hear from you before the holidays start, so we can arrange the time and day of your arrival. We‘re considering to open the Floo network in one of our fireplaces, it‘ll make your journey more pleasant._

_P.S. Be so kind and reward my dear Hades with a mouse._

_Sincerely,_   
_Lucius Abraxas Malfoy._

Severus read the letter multiple times to let the reality of it sink in. It wasn‘t the first letter he‘d received from Lucius since he‘d finished his time at Hogwarts, but it was the first time he invited him over for something so precious to the Malfoys like Christmas. Snape could only imagine how a big family gathering during the holidays looked like, his family never had one. Severus wasn’t sure if someone like him would fit into the perfect image the Malfoys were so determined to present. 

His hands were beginning to sweat, all these images of happy faces and family bonds caused him to dread his mother‘s letter even more. Unlike Lucius, she hadn’t written to him since the beginning of the year. He opened the letter in an unnecessarily slow fashion and squinted his eyes to make out his mother‘s messy handwriting.

_To my most beloved and only son,_

Snape drew in a sharp breath and forced himself to keep reading.

_I deeply regret telling you this, but your father wishes for you to stay at Hogwarts during the holidays. I argued with him, told him that you wouldn’t cause us any trouble, but you know how narrow-minded he can be when he‘s drunk._

_I managed to learn a healing spell while your father was gone over the weekend; I won‘t have to hide the bruises on my arms anymore when I‘m allowed to go out in public. It‘s not nearly as good as your wonderful potions, but sadly I will have to deal without them for a while._

_No matter how far away you are, I don‘t want you to forget how proud I am of you. The Prince blood flows through your veins and your magical talents are nothing to be ashamed of._

_I wish I could tell you how I truly feel, but I‘m afraid your father will be home from work soon and I don‘t want him to catch me sending letters by owl._

_Never forget to study hard and stand up for yourself, Sev. I hope you will enjoy your Christmas at Hogwarts, it‘s better than home after all, isn‘t it?_

_Love, mother._

Severus‘ tears left wet spots on the dirty parchment and ruined the ink. He wasn‘t sad because his father was repulsed by the idea of having to deal with him on Christmas. No, he was simply shocked that his mother had bothered to write him at all. She had secretly rented an owl, stolen an empty piece of parchment from him and written down everything with a quill; he knew it was a great risk - his father was unaware that his mother and himself were both wizards.

Snape wiped away the tears on his pale cheeks and hid the letter in one of his charms books; for one moment he considered writing back to her, but then he remembered in how much trouble his mother would be if his father found the letter. What was he supposed to write anyways? He did not know how to express any feelings for her except dread and pity.

Severus gave the Barn owl a quick stroke as it hooted happily and stretched it‘s leg out, patiently waiting for a letter. He simply pointed to the open door and ignored the upset look in her big eyes; she flapped her wings and flew out - leaving only Snape and Hades.

Snape decided to write back to Lucius, perhaps two weeks at Malfoy Manor would be more pleasurable than having to endure the cheerful looks on everybody‘s faces when they opened their presents from home. 

_Dear Lucius,_

_I accept your invitation._

_S. Snape_

He rolled up the tiny piece of parchment and attached it to Hades‘ leg. As Snape noticed that the little beast was still staring him down instead of delivering his letter, he remembered what Lucius had told him. With a long sigh, he allowed the big eagle owl to sit on his shoulder and left the dorm to carry her to the Owlery. If there was one place in Hogwarts where he was sure he could find some dead mice, it was there.

~ * ~

James wrapped his arms around Lily to warm her up as they both cuddled on the floor of the Owlery. The orange light of the sunset illuminated the tower and everything could’ve been so romantic if it wasn‘t for the ugly image of a naked Snape trapping his mouth in a kiss appearing and disappearing in James‘ head. 

Lily‘s eyelids were closed, her head rested on his chest and even in her sleep her grip on his uniform was so strong that he couldn’t move an inch. 

Suddenly the trapdoor swung open and a huge eagle owl flew in with a loud hoot announcing its arrival. James shook Lily awake after Severus climbed up the letter into the tower.

For a brief moment, all three of them stared at each other in silence, all lost for words and waiting for someone to be brave enough to say something that wouldn’t make things more awkward.

"Hey, Sev," said Lily calmly and a faint smile appeared on her lips.

Severus looked like he hadn’t expected her to even lay her eyes upon him. Now her full attention was on him and deep down James knew this is what Snape wanted after all. 

"Good evening, Lily. I hope Potter wasn‘t planning on watching the sunset with you without offering you a blanket?" he replied with his usual sneer.

James was furious. How dare he accuse him in front of her? Wasn‘t it enough of a punishment that he was unable to kiss the girl without thinking of him? 

"Mind your own business, what are you doing up here anyway?" James’ voice sounded more vicious than he wanted to and he could tell by the look in Lily‘s eyes that she wasn‘t pleased.

"Sending a letter, this is an Owlery and not your bedroom after all, isn‘t it?" Snape said and watched the eagle owl swallow a dead mouse. 

"Who would want a letter from you, Snivellus?" After James closed his mouth Lily had already raised her hand to slap him. Her hand didn’t hurt on his cheeks, but the pain went straight to his heart and he felt utterly embarrassed for breaking two promises at once.

"Why can‘t you two just stop acting so childish about everything?! You promised me you would leave him alone," she turned to frown at James. "And you," her head snapped back to glare at Severus, who looked as stone-faced and rigid as always. "You should feel lucky that I‘m talking to you again after how much you hurt me!"

Something in Severus‘ face twitched, he seemed to ignore Lily‘s anger and decided to turn his face towards the window, the eagle owl disappeared into the colorful sunset. 

"You never did allow me to apologize to you, I spent days camping outside the Gryffindor common room at night, but something must‘ve kept you from talking to your only friend," Severus spoke and looked up into the sky.

Lily opened her mouth to say something, but she could only manage to let out a sob that nearly broke James‘ heart. 

"Get out!" James shouted as he stood up from the floor and hated himself for scaring Lily. The owls hooted wildly and flew around, covering the ground with brown and black feathers.

"Shouldn’t it be you who needs to leave? You don‘t deserve to be loved by her," Severus spat with thick venom in his voice.

"And you do?" James took a step forward, his body towered over Snape and it gave him the faint feeling of dominance that he needed so desperately right now. 

Lily pushed both of them to the side and stormed off to the trapdoor; James wanted to reach out for her, but something told him that it‘d be better to let her go. The boys didn’t move until the door fell shut and the sound of Lily‘s sobbing turned so faint that they couldn’t hear it anymore.

~ * ~

Severus locked eyes with James and pushed him, he must‘ve taken him by surprise, because the noisy brat fell down and howled like a beaten dog. That was all he meant to Severus, he was a stray dog desperate for affection. The brief thought about a possible similarity between the two was quickly dismissed by himself, he wouldn’t stoop down to Potter‘s level of pathetic.

"You don’t deserve her because you‘re a liar," Severus said and bowed down to be face-to-face with James. "You don‘t care whose lips your kissing, it could be anyone‘s mouth, it could be mine," Snape brushed his lips over James‘ neck and the boy shivered. "See?"

"You‘re ... disgusting," James hissed.

"Ah, but you forgot a tiny little detail," Severus whispered and stroked Potter‘s cheeks in an almost affectioned way. "You‘re so hungry for attention that you‘ve reached a point where disgust means nothing anymore."

"I‘m not-" Potter was cut off by Snape‘s kiss. He closed his eyes while Severus kept his‘ open to take in the beauty of his expressions; he was torn between hate and love, two of the most powerful emotions and nearly impossible to control. Severus had spent his entire life trying to master both, yet he never learned how to show someone that he loved them.

"Please," James begged and pulled on Snape‘s Slytherin cloak. 

"Please what? Use your words, Potter."

"Please shut your dirty mouth and fuck me, Sev!"

Severus chuckled lowly, it would be aa pleasure to show the spoiled brat where his place was. He pushed Potter‘s face into the floor and spread his legs as far his pants would allow him. 

~ * ~

They spent the first half of the night in the Owlery; bodies tangled together and sweaty, hair ruffled up and bruises covering both of their necks. 

It was long past midnight when they snuck back into their dormitories. 

"Ambrosia," muttered Severus as he waited for the door leading to the staircase to the common room to open. The door swung open with a creak and Snape hurried into his bed. He was relieved to see Regulus was already fast asleep and unable to question him about his whereabouts.


	6. Holidays with the Malfoys

Chapter 6 : Holidays with the Malfoys

The Great Hall was brightly decorated and the teachers happily sang Christmas songs together, much to the displeasure of any students who hadn‘t been picked up by their families yet or had signed up to stay at Hogwarts.

For the first time, Severus wasn’t one of those poor souls; Lucius Malfoy had invited him to stay at Malfoy Manor to spend the holidays with him and Snape was slightly worried about what his intentions might’ve been. He must‘ve lied to his parents about his blood and wealth, Severus couldn’t imagine the Malfoys willingly letting a poor half-blood like him step into their sacred halls.

As much as he hated traveling by Floo powder, it was the easiest way for him. He stood in front of the fireplace in the Slytherin common room and took a deep breath before he threw the powder on the ground. 

"Malfoy Manor!" Severus called and found himself stumbling out of one of the many fireplaces in the manor only seconds later. He looked around to see if anyone was there to greet him, but the dining room he had landed in was illuminated by candles, but empty. He ventured through the house, the manor was so big that it wasn’t hard to feel lost. His shoes clicked over the clean marble floor and the massive Christmas trees standing in the halls made Snape feel a lot smaller than he actually was. 

The walls were full of extravagant oil paintings with golden frames and soon Snape discovered a long line of portraits, he assumed the sleeping people in the pictures were former residents of the manor. They all had the iconic white blonde hair and were mostly dressed in dark green dresses and robes. 

After what felt like hours, Snape finally found the Malfoy family sitting around a table in a large living room in the east wing. Lucius looked up from his half-full wine glass and beamed at Severus.

"You‘re quite early, but I‘m sure you couldn’t wait to see me again," Lucius said and pulled Snape into a tight and unexpected hug. 

Lucius‘ parents also didn’t seem to expect their son to be so excited over someone like him. They both raised an eyebrow at the same time, 

"Lucius has told us everything about you, Mr. Snape," his father, Abraxas, said as he stood up from his armchair and positioned himself next to his son. Upon closer examination, Snape could hardly find any visual differences between the two, except for a large amount of wrinkles Lucius‘ father had on his face. 

"Only the best, of course," Lucius added and put an arm around Snape's shoulders. He eyed Sev‘s clothes with a displeased grunt - Severus knew he wouldn’t like it if he showed up in his Hogwarts uniform, but anything was better than his old, worn out turtleneck sweaters from home. 

"Thanks," Snape forced himself to mimic the smile from Lucius‘ parents, but failed horribly; he could tell because Mrs. Malfoy was already focusing on her wine glass again. Lucius quickly noticed how awkward the situation was and dragged Severus towards the door. 

"If you‘d excuse us until dinner," Lucius addressed his parents and bowed his head. "I will be showing our guest around, we shall be back for dinner."

Severus didn’t dare to relax his mind yet, only having to deal with one Malfoy was certainly an improvement, but Lucius‘ eyes sparkled with dangerous glee and his bright white teeth made him look like a hungry alligator every time he grinned. Lucius didn‘t loosen his firm grip on Snape‘s arm as he shoved him through the long halls.

Now the family portraits were wide awake and peering at the two with either curiosity or sheer disgust, they didn’t seem to like visitors from other families very much. Their silent walk eventually found an end at the door to one of Lucius‘ many bedrooms, he released Snape for a short moment to open the double-winged door and went straight back to pushing him inside until the doors feel shut behind them.

"So," he announced and Severus flinched at the echo of Malfoy‘s voice. "How‘s my favorite half-blood been doing at Hogwarts all by himself? Horace told me you received an O in potions; I must admit, I‘ve never been a fan of having potion stains on my clothes. Speaking of clothes - I‘m shocked to see you‘re still wearing that dirty old uniform, my mother was expected a well-groomed young man."

Snape could only scoff at Lucius‘ pathetic complaints, he was the one who had invited Severus over, not the other way around. At this point, Snape already felt like turning around on his heels and leaving through the fireplace to spare himself from more bickering. It had been a mistake to come here.

"Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten her hopes so high up about me then," Severus scoffed and saw the smile on Lucius‘ thin lips fade. "It is no secret to you that my family isn’t as wealthy as yours."

"Of course, of course, I‘d suggest we take a look in my closet and pick out something more ... appropriate for the occasion," Lucius pointed at his wardrobe and the doors flew open; revealing dozens of expensive-looking robes, suits, and cloaks. Everything seemed to shine in the same emerald green as the clothes his ancestors wore on their portraits. 

"Green isn‘t your color, is it?" Lucius said as he ruffled through the robes, he didn’t sound like he expected Snape to reply at all. "We need something darker, a little gloomy, something one would fancy to wear at a funeral." 

Severus leaned quietly against one of the posts of Lucius massive bed and rolled his eyes whenever the older boy offered him an extravagant cloak to try on. He knew how shabby he looked compared to Lucius, but his looks had never been his priority. After the 12th exotic outfit in venom green, Malfoy was delighted that he had found the perfect 'costume' for Snape.

"As black as a moonless night and fierce like a raven," he said and turned around to allow Snape a good look at the dark grey shirt paired up with equally grey pants and a pitch-black cloak draped over it. It was the least embarrassing thing Lucius had shown him so far, so Snape nodded and took the outfit. He raised an eyebrow at Malfoy and expected him to leave for a moment so he could get dressed.

"Don‘t be silly, we‘re friends, aren‘t we?" Lucius asked and chuckled at the distressed sound Snape replied with. "I didn’t know you could be such a diva, I promise I won‘t look." He closed his eyes and Severus made sure to check multiple times before he slowly undressed. He swore he had caught Lucius peeking at him through his eyelids more than once by the time he was finished. The clothes seemed to have magically adjusted to Snape‘s thin frame since he knew how muscular Lucius was under all these layers of expensive cloth.

"Ah, excellent," Lucius exclaimed joyfully and circled Snape like a lion cornering its prey, carefully scanning every detail of his body. "You know, if I was a pureblood witch, I would be _moist_ from simply taking a look at you." Lucius put a disgustingly big emphasis on the word 'moist' and Snape was afraid to indulge the topic any further.

"Oh my," Lucius said and stared at Snape‘s long, dark hair in awe, he carefully took a few strands and brought them up to his nose to sniff them in an extraordinarily odd way like only a true Malfoy could. "You never fail to amaze me, my friend. So tell me, for who have you started washing your hair for? Which family does she belong to?"

Severus‘ head was filled with unpleasant images of the brat with the messy hair, followed by memories of his childhood friend, neither of which he could tell Malfoy about.

"Allow me to remind you that I‘ve _always_ been washing it, it simply tends to look a little ... untidy," Snape said, hoping to change the topic as quickly as possible.

Lucius ran his long, icy fingers over the few inches of bare skin which weren’t safely hidden beneath his cloak and traced over a few bruises. "So you‘re telling me that these bruises have appeared out of nowhere?

Severus slapped his hands away and shot a nasty glare at the blonde man. "You might find it hard to believe, but there are things which don‘t concern you." Lucius curled his lips, it took him a lot of self-control not to strangle Snape right then and there. 

"It‘s that mudblood whore you‘re after! I knew it!" Lucius shouted. "Don‘t you remember what I told you? There won‘t be a place for muggles in the new world we‘re creating!"

Severus cringed at the word 'mudblood'. "I can assure you that she didn’t leave these bruises on my skin. In fact, she hasn’t spoken to me again since I insulted her."

"Ah," Lucius struggled to catch his breath. "Fine, fine ... I was worried you might‘ve turned into a muggle-loving softie. That would’ve ruined the Christmas gift I‘ve prepared for you." The man was grinning once more. Severus could merely raise an eyebrow at Lucius‘ suggestion before they were interrupted by a shuffling noise under Lucius bed. The man sighed in annoyance and kneeled down on the marble floor, he looked like he was watching something very suspicious.

"It‘s the Niffler again," Lucius said in a bored voice. "It‘s the third one this week; I‘ve told father to call someone from the Department for Magical Creatures, but he never listens to me. Would you mind helping me?"

Severus could’ve imagined dozens of activities that would be more pleasurable than going Niffler-hunting in Malfoy Manor, but at least it kept him safe from Lucius‘ rather creepy advances and questions about his love life - so he nodded and raised his wand. They spent the rest of the day running through the endless white corridors and shooting spells at everything that moved and looked even slightly like a fluffy Niffler; it hadn‘t been Snape‘s intention to walk in on Lucius‘ mother while she was taking a bath and casting a fire charm on her hair, but he‘d never liked the old hag anyway.

~ * ~

Once it was time for dinner, Snape was beginning to feel a tiny bit guilty about setting Mrs. Malfoy‘s hair on fire, he could only imagine how unpleasant it would be to look her in the eyes after the incident. Severus followed Lucius downstairs, always staying a few steps behind him. "I‘m sure mother won‘t be so mad if I tell her that we _almost_ caught that little gold-stealing beast today," he said as he opened the door to the dining room in which Severus had arrived in earlier. 

Lucius winked at Severus, which didn’t make Snape feel any less miserable. He entered the room and his eyes immediately fell on Mrs.Malfoy‘s blonde hair, it was tied into a messy bun and the ends of it had turned black from the fire charm. She sat stiffly in her chair, her left eye twitched violently when she caught Severus staring at her ruined hair. "Sit down, will you?" she said impatiently.

Lucius sat down across from her and patted the stool next to him; the gesture reminded him of an owner ordering his dog around. He hesitated a moment, but the cold glare of Lucius‘ mother was enough to make him sit down. The table was still empty except for four wine glasses and a bottle of the required liquor; the fireplace was lit, but failed to warm up the cold aura every room in the manor emitted; Mr. Malfoy held his wife‘s hand under the table, supposedly trying to soothe her bad temper. 

"Dobby!" called Mr. Malfoy. A small house elf came running down the stairs, he tripped over the last one but quickly recovered and stood next to the older man. Dobby bowed down until his bald head touched the ground. "Dobby is pleased to see the master," he squeaked. "How can Dobby help you?"

"I believe it‘s time for dinner," he said and turned to his wife. "Put on a smile for me, darling. Dobby will be preparing your favorite meal." His wife looked slightly less upset after Mr. Malfoy placed a soft kiss on her lips. Severus felt uneasy and slightly out of place, he felt something brush against his hand and he could’ve sworn Lucius had tried to hold hands with him.

The couple seemed to have forgotten about Dobby while they embraced each other with obnoxiously loud kisses; the elf gazed up at Snape with his huge eyes. "You must be the overgrown bat young master Lucius speaks so highly of! Dobby is pleased to meet you!"

Snape slowly turned his head and saw Lucius muffling his chuckles with both of his hands. "Overgrown bat?" he hissed and Lucius was practically howling with laughter now. "Is that the best thing you could come up with?"

"Dobby! Why aren‘t you in the kitchen yet?" growled Mr. Malfoy and his booming voice quickly silenced Lucius.

The house ran into the kitchen to prepare the dinner for the family and their guest, who kept looking back and forth between a knife he could see hanging on the wall of the kitchen and Lucius pleased grin.

~ * ~

The rest of the dinner went as unpleasant and embarrassing as one could possibly imagine; it became clear to Snape that Lucius had made up a lot of lies to convince his parents he‘d be suited to stay here, he struggled to find the right answers for every single one of Mr. Malfoy‘s questions and barely ate anything from his roasted duck.

Lucius‘ parents excused themselves and announced that they‘d be heading to bed now. "Your dear mother needs her beauty sleep," Abraxas said and his wife narrowed her eyes at him. "Don‘t stay up too late, boys. And if you see that Niffler on your way to bed, be so kind and snuff it out."

 

Severus followed Lucius through the manor once more, at one point the blond turned right instead of left and Snape found himself stepping down a staircase that led downstairs. "I assume you‘ll be showing me my bedroom?" Severus asked concerned.

"You insult me, Severus. I won‘t let you stay in some lousy guestroom, we‘ll be spending the night together." Lucius replied, sounding very delighted about Snape‘s question. "But before we head to sleep, I wanted to let you have a look at your Christmas presents."

"You‘ve put my Christmas presents in the dungeon?" Snape had trouble seeing anything as they went deeper and deeper, at one point he only had the black silhouette of Lucius‘ back which he could follow. 

"Obviously," Lucius said and ignited the torches on the stone walls of the dungeon with his wand. It was a drastic change from the picture-perfect vibe that the Manor above radiated; he caught sight of a few rats rushing over the dirty floor and heard a distant scream echoing through the narrow corridors. 

For a while the only sound was the clicking of their shoes on the floor, neither of them found it necessary to talk until they stopped walking and Severus couldn’t believe his own eyes as he saw two tied up figures struggling to free themselves behind the metal bars of a cell. 

"Good evening, filthy mudbloods," Lucius said, voice full of disgust. "I‘m only blessing you with my presence to introduce you to your new master." The two figures crawled into the light of the torches and now Snape could identify them both as young muggle women; one with curly blonde hair and the other one red-haired and her face dotted with freckles. Their swollen eyes focused on Snape and he began to wonder if Lucius‘ hate for muggleborns had increased even more after he‘d left Hogwarts.

"I don‘t care what kind of twisted plan you‘ve come up with this time, Lucius, I‘m having none of it. What even is _this_ supposed to be?"

"My great-great-great grandfather build the dungeon under the house for the purpose of torturing his enemies, blood traitors and, of course, muggles. I‘ve captured these two for your own pleasure, if we tease them with a nice Cruciatus curse or break their delicate necks with our bare hands is up to you, dear friend." Lucius‘ face beamed with excitement and he licked his bottom lip hungrily.

"I‘d prefer it if you kept them away from me, I have no interest in abusing the Dark Arts for the sheer fun of it." Snape was determined to leave, but Lucius grabbed his arm and pulled him against his chest. 

"Listen to me very closely, if you don‘t learn that you, a poor half-blood with no friends, should be grateful for all the things I‘ve done for you up until now ... I will beat some sense into you," he threatened the shaking boy and pressed their foreheads together. "Come on, say it, say that I remind you of your muggle father."

Severus hesitated to answer him, he suspected that this was just another mind game for him to fall for. Lucius‘ grip tightened and it got increasingly hard for him to breath properly through his mouth. "You ... you could never be as terrible as him."

"That‘s because I‘m a pureblood wizard, Severus. We‘re not savages like these filthy mudbloods, we‘re better than them. We‘re at the top of the food chain and they‘re the lowest part of it, by the laws of nature we must fight against them, claim our territory in this world and _destroy_ them." Lucius‘ cold voice ringed in Snape‘s ears as he tried to ignore the watery eyes and whimpers of the two muggle girls. 

"Yes," Snape replied hoarsely. The only muggleborn he‘d ever grown to love was Lily, he had to admit that aside from her, all the other muggles around him made him feel slightly disgusted. Perhaps Lucius spoke the truth, which didn’t happen very often. 

His simple answer had been enough to convince Lucius to torture the girls with multiple Cruciatus curses, the two screamed their lungs out until they were too exhausted from the pain to make a single sound. Snape watched, he stood quietly in the shadows and pretended to be somewhere else - something that was common practice for him at home. 

"Enough," Severus eventually interrupted Lucius before he could raise his wand again. 

"But the fun has only just begun, I know a couple of very entertaining jinxes that would-"

"Stop it, they‘re supposed to be _my_ Christmas present, aren‘t they? And I‘d prefer them with their brains still intact," said Snape and wasn‘t afraid to stare right back at Lucius‘ displeased face. 

"The guest is the king; I‘m glad you reminded me of my manners. Let‘s head to bed, shall we?“ Lucius said and turned to leave, but not before he spat on the sobbing, blonde girl and locked their cell with a charm.

~ * ~

Later this night Snape was laying wide awake on the bed next to Lucius, whose snoring didn’t help with Severus‘ feeling of restlessness. Back in the dungeons, he couldn’t stop thinking about the similarities between the red-haired muggle girl and his Lily - would he really be able to do the same things to her? This new world Lucius was so keen to talk about, would only allow half- and purebloods to live. Muggles would only be used for slave labor and other unpleasant tasks. 

Was this really what Severus wanted? A world where someone as precious and good as Lily would have to fear for her life while he simply watched from the safety of the shadows?

_He couldn‘t find an answer for any of his questions._


	7. Return to Hogwarts

During Christmas Eve and New Years the manor was full of people and noise. Severus spent as much time alone in Lucius‘ bedroom and library as he could. He found pleasure in discovering all the knowledge the Malfoys kept stored in there and wondered if his old friend Lucius had ever bothered to touch a book outside of Hogwarts or his job at the Ministry.

Severus couldn’t suppress a faint smile when he woke up on the last day of Christmas break. Lucius was still snoring next to him in bed; he smelled like he‘d emptied the entire wine cellar last night. Snape got up to dress in his new school robes, which Lucius had been so 'generous' to buy him after Severus expressed his great dislike for the muggle slaves. 

He didn’t know what had become of the two girls, but going by the horrible sounds he‘d heard coming from the dungeons below and the silence that followed ... they were already dead. _It‘s better this way,_ he told himself in a moment of self-judgement. 

Severus opened the bedroom door to make his way to the dinner room before any of the Malfoys or guests would wake up. He threw the Floo powder into the crackling fire.

"You‘re leaving without saying goodbye to me?" A smooth voice broke the silence; Lucius leaned against the doorframe, he wore nothing except dark-green underpants and his long hair was as messy as he allowed it to be. "Where are your manners?"

"It seems they‘ve disappeared in the same fashion as your father‘s liquor collection," Severus said.

"Oh, Severus," Lucius hiccuped and swung his arms around the smaller boy. He hugged him so tightly that Snape assumed he was attempting to snuff him out. "I will miss you."

"Enough!" Snape hissed. He escaped Lucius‘ grip and stepped into the fire, with one last look at the wavering blond he called out: "Hogwarts, Slytherin common room!" One second he was watching Malfoy fall to his knees and in the next he found himself in the fireplace of the busy common room. It seemed that most students had just arrived and were eagerly sharing their holiday stories with their friends. 

Severus spotted Regulus sitting in a dark corner all by himself, the boy was deeply immersed in a copy of _'Cursed Artifacts and How to Break Them'._ He didn‘t take notice of Snape until their shoulders brushed against each other and he looked up to see Snape sitting next to him.

"Hey Sev," he said in a small voice. "Why didn’t you stay at Hogwarts this year?"

"Lucius invited me over," he replied and Regulus gasped. "I was surprised too, but I preferred chasing Nifflers in his manor over staying here again."

"I understand," Reg nodded and closed his book. "We had the whole family over, it was nice at first but Sirius and Bellatrix got into a nasty fight and ... it was a mess." He sighed.

"I‘m aware that he‘s your brother, but I sincerely hope Bella put him in his place," Sev commented. 

"Mother refused to heal him, said that he deserved to be punished for embarrassing the entire family - but it‘s nothing Madam Pomfrey can‘t fix. He went straight to the hospital wing after we arrived."

Severus scoffed and for a moment they both watched the other Slytherins in the room, one girl in particular caught Snape‘s interest; she kept looking at them nervously while she was clutching a small piece of parchment in her hands. 

"Is there a problem?" Snape asked and stood up.

"You tell me," the girl said and showed him the paper. "Some Gryffindor girl wanted me to give this to you, but if I was you, I wouldn’t read it. They‘re always just trying to get dirt on us, aren‘t they?"

Severus ripped the note out of her hands and him and Regulus both read it while the girl grunted in disapproval.

_Please join me in the Prefects‘ Bathroom tonight. I want to talk to you._  
_9 pm : Don‘t be late - it‘s important._  
_The password is Anemone!_  
_Lily_

Regulus patted his back and smiled unusually bright. "Sounds like is somebody is getting incredibly lucky today." Snape raised an eyebrow at him and directed his attention back to the girl. 

"What did the girl look like?" Snape asked.

"Red hair, these weird green eyes ... I think it‘s that Evans whore everyone’s been gossiping about last year. What does she want from you anyways?" The girl replied impatiently.

"Careful," Severus narrowed his dark eyes at her and pretended to reach inside his robes for his wand. Regulus took a hold of his arm and earned himself an angry glance from Sev. 

"Fine, but if we loose any house points in the next few days I know it will be your fault," she snapped and left the two boys alone. 

"I find it hard to believe that she‘s so desperate to talk to me alone," Snape muttered and flung the note into the fire, the flames consumed the paper and left nothing but a tiny pile of ash. Regulus looked astounded. 

"But the girl said she saw her! You‘ve been complaining to me about Lily for months! I swear if you don‘t go there ... then I‘m going instead!"

Severus shuddered at the idea of Regulus discovering the true author of the note. "If it helps you calm down, then I shall go there tonight, but you‘re not coming."

Regulus opened his mouth to argue, but the boy was smart enough to read the dangerous look on Snape‘s face and realize that his words were final. 

"I will see you later, Regulus," Severus said and wandered off to his dormitory. 

"Good luck, Sev," the boy called out before he went back to reading his book with a worried expression.

 _He must think I‘m a fool,_ Severus thought.


	8. Bubbles & Betrayal

Chapter 8 : Bubbles & Betrayal 

The grandfather clock in the dormitory struck nine. Severus had already snuck out without waking up Regulus; he stopped at every corner and listened for any possible signs of movement. Once he was sure the coast was clear, he strode through the corridor until he reached the door to the Prefects‘ Bathroom.

"Anemone," he whispered and the door opened.

Severus opened his mouth in surprise and immediately regretted it: he inhaled the strong flowery scent coming from the pink colored, bubbly water that filled the huge swimming pool-like tub in the center of the room. He let his eyes wander over the mermaid paintings hanging on the wall and was relieved to see them all fast asleep.

His hand grasped his wand and he pointed it at the tub. Snape couldn’t spot any hiding places so he assumed that whoever had sent him here must‘ve been hiding under the water. Just as he had expected, something emerged from the depths of the tub. It was a pale-looking girl with glasses and a fringe, Snape quickly noticed that he could see through her and lowered his wand with a loud sigh.

"I have no time to listen to your whining, Myrte," Snape said coldly. 

"Of course, nobody listens to poor Myrte!" she cried out and floated around the room. "Not even if she has a secret to tell! But who wants to heart that? Right! Nobody!"

Severus rolled his eyes so slowly that he was sure even Myrte had seen it. "Tell me, what kind of secret could you possibly know about?"

Myrte stopped her moaning and grinned broadly, Snape admitted that he didn’t like the look on her face at all. "Behind you," she chuckled and pointed over Sev‘s head. 

_"Flipendo!"_

Severus was thrown into the tub by the spell. He gasped for air and struggled to keep his head over the water, his robes absorbed the water and dragged him down. The bubbles stung in his eyes and nearly blinded him, but he would be able to recognize this nasty laugh anytime and anywhere.

James Potter stood at the edge of the tub and chuckled alongside Myrte. "Glad to see that you‘ve followed my invitation, I was starting to worry you would be smart enough not to show up," he mocked Snape. 

Severus managed to get a grip on the edge of the tub, he coughed loudly and spit out the remaining water in his mouth. "I hate to break your little fantasy of outsmarting me, but I already knew it wasn‘t Lily who wrote the letter," he said. "Polyjuice potion doesn‘t help to cover up your awful handwriting."

James‘ cheeks flushed. "Well, then you‘re even stupider for coming, right?" 

"I don‘t think you‘ve sent me here for a simple prank, especially not if there‘s no one who’d laugh at your silly jokes except for a dead freak."

"How dare you! How dare you make fun of me! Let‘s see how people treat you once you‘re dead!" Myrte vanished through the walls and her sobs turned faint eventually.

"I wanted to be with you," James muttered so quietly that Severus barely heard him. "After everything that happened last year I can‘t pretend that there's nothing wrong. I tried talking to Lily earlier today, but she ignored me." Snape could tell that he sounded very affected by that.

"She tends to do that to people who hurt her," Snape said in a heavy voice.

James bit his bottom lip, he seemed to search for words or a snarky remark to throw at Snape, but he remained silent and simply pulled his shirt and pants off to reveal his muscular body; he‘d gotten these abs from Quidditch practice. "I‘m so tired of all this."

"You take the words out of my mouth, Potter," Severus‘ lips curved up into a sneer as he watched James climb into the tub and swim over to him. "But we always end up with the same result, don‘t we?"

James tilted his head in confusion. Severus let go of the edge and gripped both sides of Potter‘s face, he gazed into his widening pupils before they both shut their eyelids to embrace in a hot kiss; their tongues got into a fight for dominance, which Snape promptly won. Severus distracted James with his magical tongue while he wrapped his arms around his back and scratched his skin. Potter twitched violently at the pain. 

"Bloody hell, Sev," he moaned; his lip and tongue were already bleeding from Snape‘s rough kisses. "Why?"

"Because I want to see your heart shattered into pieces," Severus growled and licked over James‘ earlobe. "I want to ruin you."

Potter was too shocked to speak. Snape saw it as a chance to get a hold of him and push James‘ body against the wall of the tub. His underwear was gone with one swift move of Severus hand and swam away. The Potter boy was truly a sight to behold once his mouth was shut: his black hair was as messy as always, but it looked so much more enticing with water drops sparkling in it. Severus felt that it was the appropriate moment to shed his own school robes and allow them to drift away in the water. James ass brushed lightly against Snape‘s abdomen and there was a somewhat sad smile on his bloody lips.

"Do it," he whispered.

"I‘m afraid you have to be more precise than that." Severus‘ fingers idly touched the scratches on James‘ back.

"I dare you to ruin me, Snape!" 

"Gladly," was everything Severus could manage to say before he buried himself in Potter‘s ass. He yanked on James‘ hair and used it to keep his head above the water while he pounded into him as fast as he could. The water splashed over the edge of the pool; doing it in the water was an entirely new experience for both of them. 

Severus wet hair swung back in forth while James‘ eyes gazed up at him; they were foggy with lust and looked like there wasn‘t an ounce of intelligence left in Potter‘s head (No that there was much to begin with, Snape thought and smirked to himself). 

The two lost themselves in the hard thrusts and the water surrounding them, pink bubbles continued to emerge from the hot water and completed the scenery. Severus had already felt his orgasm, he‘d already shot his seed deep into James‘ body, but he kept jerking his hips to fuck Potter over the edge too. Soon the boy screamed in pleasure and his body went limp from exhaustion, Snape couldn’t tell if his face was covered in sweat or water, all that mattered was how defeated he looked after Severus pulled his cock out.

"Sev," James croaked.

Severus wrapped his arms around Potter‘s chest and pressed his cheek against his‘ to ensure that he understood every word James managed to say. "Yes?"

"It‘s stupid, but I think I might love-" James was cut off by the creak of the door.

Someone gasped and the boys turned their heads to stare into the frightened face of Lily Evans, her cheeks went paler than the color of the towel that hung around her chest. 

"Merlin‘s balls," James cursed and looked helplessly towards Snape. "Say something," he muttered. 

"Save your breath, I‘m not blind, you know? I know exactly what _this_ is!"

"Well I‘m glad you can see that we‘re taking a bath, what are you doing here at this time anyway?" James tried to sound chill, but his voice was incredibly shaky.

"Shut up, Potter!" Lily and Severus shouted in unison. 

"Fine, fine," James groaned and looked down into the water. 

"To be blatantly honest with you, Lily, Potter here thought it‘d be funny to impersonate you and lure me into the bathroom and now ... Well, here we are," Severus explained and saw James‘ eyes grow wider with every word. 

"And why are you both naked?!"

James sighed in defeat and was surprised to see the triumphant smile on Severus‘ lips. 

"Potter was so desperate for sex that he ripped my clothes off and begged me to take him," Snape‘s voice was cold and emotionless. 

"Wait, no! He‘s lying to you!" James cried out and hurried to climb out of the tub. He ran towards Lily and slipped on the wet floor, his body hit the floor and he groaned in pain. He looked up at Lily, who was towering over him with an expression of disappointment and loathing. "Severus has never lied to me, no matter how many disagreements and troubles we had. He‘s not a pathetic worm like you, Potter. I‘m afraid I have no choice but to report you to Dumbledore," she said.

"But we‘re both Prefects!" James shouted desperately, he reached out to grab Lily‘s legs but she was quick enough to take a step back. "You‘re making a big mistake!"

Lily didn’t seem to be afraid of making any big mistakes since she left James on the floor and helped Severus to climb out of the tub instead. Her pale face flushed pink once she saw Snape‘s naked body. _Finally,_ Severus thought. "Don‘t worry, Lily. He didn’t get the chance to hurt me," he said in a deep voice. Lily reached out to caress Severus‘ cheeks with her smooth hands, her sweet eyes full of worry and concern. 

"I‘m so sorry that I pushed you out of my life. I understand if you don‘t think I deserve to be forgiven, but I can‘t leave before I haven‘t tried," her quavering voice was like a symphony to Sev‘s ears. 

"I forgive you, if you promise me you won‘t cry anymore," he said and their noses touched each other very briefly. "You‘re the only person I‘ve ever cared about, Lily."

They heard an angry growl from behind them and turned around. James stood with a wet shirt wrapped around his waist, blood was smeared all over his face and his wet chest was heaving - he looked downright terrifying. "You can‘t do this. You can‘t betray me like this!"

 _What I can or can‘t do is not up for you to decide,_ Snape thought but didn’t dare to speak it out in front of Lily. The girl ignored James‘ whimpering and fetched the soaked Slytherin robe out of the water. She hung it over Snape‘s shoulders who pretended to be freezing. "I think we should go back to bed for now, you‘re going to get sick, Sev," she said and rubbed his back. 

"I agree," Severus replied. 

They both walked past James and right through the door. He could still hear him curse under his breath. Honestly, Severus didn’t understand why the boy was so upset, after all, it had been his wish to shatter his worthless heart. And who was Snape to deny him such a request? Potter deserved to know how it feels to be thrown into the dirt and stamped on, both physically and mentally. 

Lily followed him all they way down to the dungeons, not once did she look worried that someone could see them. They arrived in front of the door to the common and the girl embraced Snape in a comfortable hug. He could barely remember the last time Lily had shown him this much affection; she pressed her perfect face into his wet robes and it didn’t bother her in the slightest that he was too stunned to hug her back.

"Let‘s never stop talking to each other, promise?" Lily said.

"Promise," Severus replied. 

Their ways parted for the night and Snape couldn’t wait to see Potter squirm his way out of the hole Severus had dug for him. Not even his stupid Marauder friends could help him, he doubted that the boy had been brave enough to tell any of them about their little 'things'. Severus found no word to describe the relationship he shared with James, he assured himself that he was only using him to get back on Lily‘s good side, but something buried deep inside him, was longing to be freed and Snape had no idea if his _'oh so cold and dead'_ heart was beating for Lily or Potter.


	9. Monsters in the Dark

Chapter 9 : Monsters in the Dark

James' heart was beating so heavily that he feared his veins might burst any minute and soak his bed sheets with blood. He clawed his pillow, wet from all the tears he shed, he felt embarrassed about every single drop that crossed his hot cheeks. Severus hadn’t failed him, he had done what James had asked for, and yet he couldn’t shake away the disappointment he was experiencing this night. The boy had taken everything that mattered in James‘ life and shattered it within the blink of an eye. 

He rolled over for the dozen time in the past few hours and watched his friends sleep peacefully, he envied them more than anything. James forced himself to stay awake, he was afraid to experience the same dream over and over again. He always watched himself embrace Snape, their bodies tangled together and until suddenly his lover turned into a snake and suffocated him. 

Hearing his own breath sickened him. He believed himself to be smart and more cunning than any Slytherin bloke, but now he had solid proof that this had all been a big lie he made everyone, including himself, believe to be the truth. 

The early morning sun tickled his nose and he buried his body beneath his blanket. "Ah, we‘ve got an early bird here!" Sirius‘ voice echoed through the dormitory and James flinched when his friend pulled the blanket off of him without a warning. "Looks like you had a rough night."

"Go away," groaned James, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hands. 

"What‘s the matter with you?" Sirius asked, but when James remained silent, he sighed and sat down next to his friend. "Well, I‘m sure it‘s nothing a long stroll in the Forbidden Forest can‘t fix."

James hoped Sirius was right. 

* * 

The twigs and dried leaves under Severus‘ and Lily‘s feet crunched as they journeyed deeper into the dark forest. The sun had barely appeared on the horizon when the girl had turned up in the dungeons and asked him to go outside with her. She didn’t need to ask him twice, he led her towards the only place he knew would be free of other students. Snape was glad his plan had turned out so well; her hand was holding his‘ and they both relished the silence surrounding them. 

"I never knew the Forbidden Forest could be so quiet," Lily whispered, and Snape admired how soft-spoken the red-headed whirlwind could be when they were alone. "But tell me, why did you bring me here of all places?"

Severus squeezed her hand as he stopped walking and pointed forward. There, between berry bushes and tall trees, stood a beautiful doe with her young fawn. Lily crouched down to get a better view on them, her emerald eyes sparkled brightly at the peaceful sight and Snape knew that all the trouble and worries of the past few years had been worth it if they had to lead up to this very moment. The pain in his chest, which he had become so accustomed that he hardly noticed it anymore, was washed away by the innocent smile on Lily‘s lips. 

Snape saw all the kindness and purity in her that he himself would never get a hold of. She gasped when the fawn fell over a small rock after it had eagerly jumped forward, Severus kneeled down next to her and watched her expression turn from wonder to worry and back to relief once the little fawn had been helped up by his mother. 

"How did you know they live here?" Lily asked him, her eyes never leaving the doe. 

"I come to watch them whenever I feel troubled," Snape answered quietly.

"Are you still worrying about Potter?" Lily had taken her eyes off the animals and was now staring at Snape with a concerning intensity. Severus had hoped that the arrogant brat would be gone from their conversations for a while, he did not need to be reminded of his filthy skin and disgusting face, but he refused to be angry with his childhood friend.

"As long as you‘re with me, he‘s nothing more than dirt under my shoes," Snape said. 

The doe lightly pressed her nose against the fawn‘s forehead and Lily was too fascinated to answer him with words. For a moment he wondered whether she had ever seen a living doe before, but then his mind was blown away by the gentle touch of Lily‘s warm hands around his neck. He whipped his long hair back to get a better view of her rosy cheeks, her lips were only inches away from his face and he felt every breath she took.

"I can‘t believe he nearly ruined our friendship," she mumbled. "I can‘t believe I almost fell in love with him!" Her eyes turned watery and Snape resisted the overwhelming urge to kiss her. 

"Don‘t blame yourself, he can be extraordinarily cunning when he wants to be. Not that any of it will matter once the headmaster agrees to throw him out, along with his group of-" 

A howl, followed by a scream ripped through the peaceful silence and caused the doe and her child to run off, their black eyes filled with fear. Lily stood up and spun around to look for the origin of the noise, she quickly drew her wand as Snape did the same. "What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing I can‘t protect you from," he assured Lily, who nodded firmly with a serious look on her face. 

* * * 

James was rushing through the thick bushes of the Forbidden Forest. Sirius and he had decided to go for a stroll to help James take his mind off the problems that plagued him day and night. They had both turned into their secret Animagi forms, James was now a proud stag and Sirius a great, black dog. 

When James heard a chorus of howls not far from behind them, he stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head to see pairs of red eyes glaring at them from the dark depths of the forest. Sirius fletched his teeth and looked ready to pounce, but the wolves attacked before one of them could move.

A big white wolf, who looked like he was in charge of the pack, jumped at Sirius and went straight for his neck. A fight broke out between them and James charged towards the two, he buried his antlers into the wolf‘s body. Blood was splattering everywhere and drew the attention of the remaining pack, who seemed eager to revenge their alpha. 

Sirius panted, his tongue hanging out, and James couldn’t quite see how deep the bite marks on his neck truly were. He knew that if his friend would die, it would be all his fault. Potter was about to protect him from the wolves when suddenly - Sirius threw his head back and pointed behind him with his front paw. 

It took a moment for James to understand the silent gesture. If the situation hadn’t been so dangerous, he would’ve refused to separate himself from his friend, but he trusted in Sirius‘ instincts. He took off in the direction the dog had shown him, three of the wolves ran after him. 

After what felt like hours of fleeing from the beasts, he arrived at a clearing. In the distance, he saw two figures standing with their wands raised. His heart was pumping so loudly that he couldn’t make out what the male figure shouted. Whatever it had been, it caused him to fall over and his stag body met the dirt. 

The three wolves circled him, their mouths were opened widely to show off their spiky teeth. "That‘s it," he thought. "Can‘t believe I‘m going down like this."

 _"Incendio!"_ A familiar dark voice roared. The grass around James began to burn, it created a circle of flames which brought fear into the wolves‘ eyes. They growled at the fire, but quickly realized it was a lost cause and raised their snouts towards the two figures who came running closer to James.

"We need to help him!" Another, female and rather high pitched voice screamed. "Leave him alone you ugly beasts! _Stupor!"_

One wolf after the other fell motionless to the ground. James forced himself back on his four legs, he ignored the rising panic in his stomach and jumped over the flames. Finally, he saw the faces of his saviors: It was Evans and his eyes hardened once he identified her companion - _Snivellus._

* * *

"Are you hurt?" Lily asked as she approached the stag. She reached out to stroke his head and the stag willingly bent down to give the girl an easier access to the spot behind his ears. "I'm sorry that Sev nearly cooked you alive, he didn’t mean it, right Sev?" She turned back to look at Snape who was still staring at the stag in confusion. 

He wasn’t sure why, but he knew that something was wrong with this animal. There was something terribly off about the way it accepted Lily‘s touch so eagerly like a well-trained dog. Severus knew quite a few things about the creatures living in this forest, and most of them weren’t so keen to get close with wizards or witches.

"I don‘t trust him," Severus whispered as he raised his wand at the stag. 

"Come on, can‘t you just be happy for a moment?"

"Have you ever seen a deer act so cuddly?" 

"To be honest with you, I haven‘t seen many deer until you showed them to me today," she replied and was so occupied with glaring angrily at Severus that she didn’t notice how the stag‘s eyes slightly twitched. 

It hurt Snape to ruin the perfect moment for her, but when he believed her life to be at risk, he would never back down. _"Revelio!"_

As expected, the stag began to shimmer and fade. Lily took a few steps back and bumped into Snape, he caught her in his arms and they both watched the animal turn into a young man. Severus would be able to recognize the boy with the awfully messy hair, round glasses, and piercing blue eyes anytime and anywhere. He shuddered at the thought of having saved him, it could have been the perfect opportunity to finish him off without consequences.

"If I had known you were an unregistered Animagus, I would have already informed the ministry," Snape hissed. "Or perhaps death would have been more pleasant than Azkaban."

Lily squeezed Sev‘s arm and looked up into his face. "I think we should leave now, don‘t you think?"

"Hah, that‘s it? Are you just going to leave? Padfoot is still fighting with the rest of the pack, we need to save him!" James shouted and his cheeks turned bright red.

Lily looked back and forth between James and Snape as if she was searching for words to say that would calm the situation down on all sides. Her hand glided over Sev‘s arm and she took a hold of his hand; Lily took a step towards James and dragged Snape along. 

"Fine, we will put our differences aside for now, but don‘t think I‘m doing this for you, Potter!" She said. "I simply don‘t want someone to die because of this. Lead the way, James."

James nodded; the three of them stepped over the petrified wolves and headed back into the dark forest. 

Soon they heard the sounds of a fight going on not far away from where they walked. Severus still didn’t trust him, it smelled awfully like a trap. Even if it turned out to be true, he didn’t enjoy the idea of saving two marauders in one day. The only thing that kept him from turning around and running away were Lily‘s incredibly strong fingers intertwined with his own. He could feel that she was scared, yet she tried so hard to make him feel stronger.

"Sirius!" James called out. He received nothing more than a pathetic yelp as a reply. 

They arrived at another clearing, dozen of wolves laid in the grass (their fur was soaked with blood), but the great white one who, despite being covered with deep cuts, didn’t stop fighting with a black dog. 

"He‘s a dog? That fits him terribly well," commented Snape idly, but Lily didn’t catch the joke. She reached for her wand and let go of Snape‘s hand to help out Sirius. Severus followed her without a second thought; he threw himself between the alpha and the dog. 

The wolf lowered his head and growled at Snape, saliva was dropping sloppily from his teeth as he sniffed on his hair. "Go. Lily. Just go." He said in a voice so low that only she could hear it.

"Don‘t be silly, I will be right back," she whispered into his ear before she and James picked up the wounded dog and carried him towards the safety of the forest. Now it was just Severus and the alpha. It surprised him that the beast hadn’t buried his fangs into his skin yet, but he wasn‘t exactly eager to find out what it felt like to be torn in half. 

"Just between the two of us, you should have finished him off when you had the chance," Snape told the Alpha and the beast‘s eyes turned into slits as he opened his mouth. Severus pressed the tip of his wand against the furry neck of the wolf and watched the fear rise in his red eyes. "Run, or you‘ll bath in your own blood." 

Snape didn‘t know if the Alpha had understood his warning or if his instincts had kicked in and told him that it‘d be wiser to leave, but the beast slowly turned away from and glanced over to Potter, Lily and the wounded Sirius one last time before he dragged his damaged body into the forest.

Snape put his wand back into its holster and walked back to where the others were hiding, careful to avoid the corpses laying on the ground. He was halfway there when he saw something that made his stomach twist: Potter was trapping Lily in a hug. Severus‘ feet carried him faster than any broom could have ever done and he nearly ran into them.

"Potter!" Severus spat.

"Snivy!" Potter called out and Lily lightly pushed him aside. 

James turned his ugly head to show off his shit-eating grin to him, only him because Lily‘s beautiful eyes were concentrated on the bloody dog while she murmured words which Snape knew belonged to a powerful healing spell. 

"I believe 'Thank you for saving mine and my poor friend‘s sorry arse" would be the appropriate greeting," Severus said.

"Quit your bullshit, Snape. If it hadn’t been for Lily, you would‘ve happily watched him die."

"Not just him," Severus hissed lowly and was pleasantly surprised to see a flash of shock on Potter‘s sweaty face. 

James stepped uncomfortably close to him and their shoulders touched for a brief moment. "I won‘t let you treat me like a fool, we both know what really went down in the bathroom. You can‘t deny your feelings," Potter whispered.

"Oh, no. You caught me. A little late, but I admit I kept my hate for you well hidden," Snape replied with a smirk.

"I won‘t let you ruin our pretty little Evans; she deserves better than to be tricked into taking it up the ass and being disposed of right after."

"You seem to forget the important little detail that _you_ started this!" Snape roared louder than he meant to.

"Shut up!" Lily screamed and her voice froze both Potter and Snape. She got up from the ground, her hands were stained with dark blood and the furious ember in her eyes was one of the few things Severus feared.

"I can‘t believe someone is struggling to stay alive and you two can‘t think of anything better to do than argue like little kids! He‘s your best friend, Potter! I know you‘re a mindless idiot and so much more, but I didn’t know you would sink _this_ low."

James opened his stupid mouth to say something but closed it when he heard Lily‘s breath turn rapid. 

"Lily, we should go now. He clearly doesn’t appreciate your help," Severus attempted to soothe his friend, he reached out with his hand but the girl slapped it away.

Lily sighed. "Do me a favor, Sev, just this once - Stop. Lecturing. Me." 

Severus drew his hand back, he struggled to control it when it began to shake. He shook his head, he silently cursed Regulus for his idiotic idea to take Lily out in the woods. There were monsters here that he couldn’t win against; Lily‘s temper was one of them. She looked terribly hurt. Snape told himself that her eyes were turning blurry because of Potter‘s bad influences, but then it hit him like a rock.

"I don‘t love you. Neither of you. And I‘m sick of seeing you two fight over me like I‘m some lifeless trophy! I saw the way you look at each other, there‘s more going between you two, isn‘t there? Disgusting," Lily blurted out while keeping her tears at bay.

James looked at Snape in the same pathetic way he had done back in the prefects‘ bathroom, he was silently begging Severus to save the situation with some great plan of his. Except for this time, the boy felt just as lost as Potter. All the nasty images of every encounter with the brat returned to his inner eye and Snape wished he was blind on the inside. Everything he had done to win Lily‘s heart over had been for ... nothing. 

"I made sure he‘ll survive, but you should carry him to the Hospital Wing to let Madam Pomfrey have a look at his injuries," Lily said in a monotone voice while she wiped the tears from her eyes. 

"What- and what are you going to do?" Potter asked.

"I‘m leaving you be, I don‘t want to see what happens when I turn my back on you two. Don‘t bother to look for me, you might not believe it because I‘m a girl, but I can take care of myself," Lily explained.

"Oh, and Severus," her eyes darted over to Snape and he never knew eye contact with her could be so painful. "I don‘t give people third chances."

"Ouch," Potter muttered.

The brat was right. Lily‘s words stung. He could do nothing but watch his friend step over Sirius‘ body and disappear behind the dark oak trees. He saw a small light flicker between the bushes, she had cast a Lumos spell to navigate through the forest. Severus would have given everything for the ability to turn back time and fix this horrible mess, but there was no turning back now.

He was all alone. 

Alone with the only person, he loathed more than himself.

"Uhm ...," Potter dared to speak up. "Now‘s the wrong time to tell you that I lo-"

"Speak up, brat. You can‘t make this any worse," Severus lowered his head and rubbed over his forehead to calm down his headache. 

Potter fidgeted with his fingers and flushed red when he caught Snape‘s eyes. He was simply impossible. 

"I love you, Severus."

Potter reminded him once again that things could always turn darker and twist more horribly no matter how deep one had sunken into the abyss. 

"Obviously," was all Snape managed to say before the world around him turned black.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, chapters will be added if enough people like it! <3
> 
> Kudos & especially comments would make my day.


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